Weekend with Bernie

Don't worry, we didn't kill anyone like that other weekend with Bernie, but he did get his research wrong. IDC's longboard riding, pony-tailed surfer and long-time industry analyst, PC guru Bernie Esner, has misread the weather maps and set off to North Queensland, expecting to bump into some cyclonic swells.

Arriving with his big wave riding kit - including a jet ski and rider to tow him onto the big ones - the man was captured by Tabloid enjoying the consolation prize from the trip. He is seen here in action in the media room at Microsoft's TechEd 2000 conference in Cairns, which started last Sunday.

Fresh from a swim in the hotel pool one rainy morning after again being disappointed at the aforementioned swell's failure to arrive, Bernie donned a plastic raincoat (looking suspiciously like a condom) in preparation for the evening's outdoor entertainment - surfing the Net.

But just take a look at that familiar stance. If you can ignore that blow-up chair, which one former Tabloid spy described as being "very 1999", Bernie could have been on his Malibu cruizin' down the face of a 15-foot wave. It's cool Bernie, we know you'd rather be surfing. Problem was he got it all wrong on this trip.

The Great Barrier Reef has made sure Cairns has absolutely no waves, so Bernie's Mal' stayed in Sydney. But unconfirmed reports suggested this early riser was seen jogging along the Cairns waterfront very early each morning searching in vain for waves that were never going to appear.

We are also led to believe the three days he was in Cairns is the longest he has been without a surf since he was a teenager - back in the 50s.

Send your hot channel surfing tips and pics to arn_tabloid@idg.com.au

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