Notes from the Field

SAN MATEO (05/23/2000) - A while back I wrote about losing my mojo after Rose left. I'm happy to say that I have found it once again. I had a complete awakening, sliding out of this funk that I have been in for months.

I was at a bar, drinking my beer, and in walked this group of ladies who would blow Cameron Diaz away. Each one of these hot young things could have been in the movies (what kind of movies I'm not going to say).

When the lights started blinking last call, they came to my place for a nightcap. I spread the love around, but when everyone went their separate ways, Randi and I were left alone together.

Crazy little thing called love

As anyone who wasn't in a cave last week knows, I wasn't the only one spreading the love around. That little punk in the Philippines (okay, "alleged" punk) really messed things up.

Interestingly enough though, Symantec Corp. -- you know, the security experts who put the fix to the "I Love You" virus online -- made a mental blunder when sending out its Symantec Smallbiz newsletter last week.

The title of the weekly edition was 29 ways to say I Love You. So basically no one saw the newsletter either because they had filtered the word "love" from their e-mail programs, or because they were using the cure Symantec itself offered.

No more love at Oracle

One of my spies tells me that Oracle Corp. CEO Larry Ellison is falling in love with India ... or at least with the cheap labor over there.Oracle is supposedly going to be outsourcing its customer support to India. After reports of layoffs a couple weeks ago, it seems that the company's solution to poor customer service on the mainland is just to send it off somewhere overseas and hope it gets better.

Of course, there could be a method to the madness. Ellison may be trying to free up additional man power and money to increase the performance of the Oracle Technology Network site.

One user reports that the site is creeping so slowly that pages are taking upward of a minute to load. My own personal tests showed similar results. How ironic that the company that boasts its "software powers the Internet" has trouble getting it loaded.

Getting down in style

More downsizing is going on in other parts of the industry as well.

Rumor has it that Bentley Systems is purchasing the rights to some of Intergraph's products. It seems the latter is very concerned about downscaling, yet it has already sold off some of its hardware divisions. More chops are expected to follow, my industry badgers tell me.

I woke to the smell of eggs and bacon wafting from my kitchen. Randi was not only beautiful; she could also cook. But the truth is that right now I'm feeling pretty randy myself. Randi and I are on for another date later this week, but I also got the phone numbers of her lovely friends. And there are a few other bars I'd like to check out.

As Austin Powers would say, "I put the 'grrr' in swinger, baby. Yeah!"

Know of any hangouts where delicious ladies congregate? Or do you have a technology rumor for me? Send tips to cringe@infoworld.com.

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