National Australia Bank ( NAB ) has finally gotten around to embracing social media, like rival Commbank, and has gotten itself an official Facebook page. Why then, will I not be ‘friending’ NAB any time soon?
Well, as much as I like going out for Friday drinks with NAB , frankly, I just don’t trust it to use some discretion and not post pictures of us plastered at 3am in the city.
We won’t also mention the fact that despite being very cashed up, you’d have to be an expert ATM skimmer to see the colour of its money when it's NAB’s turn to pay for the next round.
Then there’s bloody FarmVille, too. It’ll be a matter of moments until NAB starts bugging me about helping it out on its farm. And let’s be honest, ‘landed gentry’ doesn’t begin to describe it. Small nations are envious of the size of its economy.
I just know it’ll have no problem with me giving it my coins and for not much in return, but as soon as I ask it for a loan for a new barn it’ll cost me a pound of virtual flesh, then some.
And Zuckerberg help me if I should miss a repayment on my loan.
NAB’s had this on-again, off-again thing going on with the Treasurer, too. One minute they’re ‘in a relationship’, the next ‘it’s complicated’ and the next they’re just not talking to each other. I just can’t keep up.
And perhaps, worst of all, NAB’s, well… just plain needy. It has to be liked by everyone and won’t be satisfied until you’re its friend.
To be honest, I’m a little worried that if I do friend NAB, then decided better of it, well who knows how it might take it? I don’t think it’ll stop at just a ‘poke’. It just knows so much about me; where I live, how much I earn, where I shop. It’s just all a bit too creepy for me.
Its emotional sophistication is worrying too. I mean, it is a bank so it does tend to be a bit on the serious side. Then there’s the fact that it seems to be able to express itself in emoticons, and then four only of those.
Yeah, look NAB, you seem nice enough, for a bank, but with Facebook friends like you, well, see you on Twitter? No, better still, I'll call you...