Intergalactic agency seeks IT manager

Strategically plan and implement pain, death and closely with the most wretched and dangerous scum

Help wanted: Biotic-Power Super Solider.

Help wanted: Biotic-Power Super Solider.

It sounded like your average IT management job: “short term contract to kill or be killed… work closely with the most wretched and dangerous scum… strategically plan and implement pain, death and destruction…” but it was really an ad for a Biotic-Powered Super-Soldier.

Yes, that’s right, a Biotic-Powered Super-Soldier.

I struggled to believe it. How was this not an ad for an IT management professional?

“Overall, this role requires someone who is very results driven and motivated to succeed. Failure will lead to your death…so you must work well under pressure,” the ad read.

Baffled, I read on and found that the key experience and skills requirements include having more than 80 kills to your name, being comfortable with a range of heavy machinery including the MC-77 Missile Launcher and the X-8A Avenger Assault Rifle, and possessing a practical, hands-on approach to killing.

What IT professional doesn’t have that? Really, I think they’re setting the bar too low.

If they want good people, they’re going to have to try a bit harder. Do they think we all just sit around and play the latest video games all day ?

It’s not like the future of humanity depends on it, or anything.

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