Shark Tank: Clue train derailment

Upgrade of Network software for 200-plus government employees mostly goes smoothly (it probably helps that this pilot fish left a note at each workstation explaining what he did and why). But one user is furious in the wake of the upgrade. User's e-mail message to fish: "Ever since you worked on my office PC, my home PC hasn't been working right. What did you do to it?"

Zip Trip Network administrator pilot fish notices that one user has added a Zip drive to his PC on his own. Curious, the fish asks why. "Yeah, I needed it," user says, "because I get so many e-mail attachments that are zipped."

Please Respond ASAP Consultant's PC is acting up, so just before she goes on vacation, she ships it back to the home office's IT shop for repair. That means it's her pilot fish boss who fumes when he receives a copy of an e-mail message to her from the repair guys, asking for her intranet passwords before they can get to work. "The IT group has administrator rights. They have the capability of changing the password," grumbles the boss. Not to mention that they also have her PC.

Wrong Image Pilot fish stops reading a faxed ad at the point where the data warehousing tool vendor boasts, "We specialize in extracting data from your back end and bringing it to your forefront."

Playing in Traffic IT pilot fish at a financial services company gets a heads-up from the networking group: One office is using so much bandwidth on the Internet proxy servers that it's affecting users sitewide. The network guys identify the customer service rep responsible, and the fish trucks down to the call center, where one look at the user's desktop reveals the problem. "I identified myself," says the fish, "and asked the user how having the streaming real-time images from four freeway cams could have a bearing on the duties of his job."

Trying to Keep a corporate bigwig in the loop, a pilot fish e-mails him the skinny on a project that was proposed at a work management team meeting. Bigwig fires back a single question: "Who's on this team?" Fish restrains himself from firing back a one-word answer: "You."

Fire one over to me: sharky@computerworld.com. You get a sharp Shark shirt if your true tale of IT life sees print - or if it turns up in the daily feed on the Web at computerworld.com/sharky.

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