GBU

Good

"The furniture guys just dropped off the boxes, and I need you to come up and assemble my desk," new hire tells IT support. Why don't you call the facilities department, baffled IT asks. User: "Well, your extension is listed as the help desk . . . "

This week's GBU mug goes to an IT infrastructure manager in Newcastle who sent in this titbit as an example of end user resistance to change. A national telco with a strong rural presence has been converting its "linies" to new technology. They all get a new "toughened" notebook, CDMA 1x access and a training session from the IT guys in Sydney. The trainer advised the staff that the new system will "do all the work for you". Two days later, a long-time employee brings in his new notebook, which is in pieces, explaining that it doesn't work. hen quizzed, he said he used the notebook to drive star pickets (fence posts) in. The trainer did say it would do his job for him.

Bad

Newly transferred IT's laptop is updated to match his new site's configuration. But when it comes back, VPN is gone, FTP disabled, e-mail attachments disallowed and all but local site Web pages disabled. What's up? he asks. "We're obligated to protect your PC," IT support tells him. But this is a laptop, IT protests, and now I can't use it on trips or work with others outside of the local site. Support guy: "See? You're protected!"

IT has already been through a detailed data-security audit for all 100 of the Windows servers in his care. Then the Sarbanes-Oxley auditor asks for a list of network protocols installed on the servers. Next comes this one: "If any of these services or protocols are enabled for normal business operations, I need to obtain an explanation: Remote Access Service, TCP/IP, NetBIOS, NetBEUI . . ."

This company monitors Internet usage closely, and when one employee's numbers are much higher than average, management investigates. "He explains he needs it for his job," says sysadmin."His job? Webmaster."

Ugly

User calls helpdesk: "The person across the hall got some new software, and I think I should have it, too." What software is it? asks IT. User: "I don't know the name of it." IT: Well, what does it do? User: "I don't know." IT: What do you use it for? User: "I'm not sure." IT: What's its purpose? Why exactly do you need it? User: "I don't know its purpose -- but I need it because she has it."

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