This program manager can't grasp the idea of gathering requirements at the start of a project. "At a project kickoff meeting, which he had neglected to actually invite the customer to, we had a lot of discussion around what the software we were creating was supposed to do," says IT on the team. "I suggested putting together a requirements teleconference with the customer to clarify their ideas and goals." PM's response? "I was told we were already behind schedule and didn't have time to meet with the customer." This sorry tale has won this week's GBU mug.
Help desk gets a call from a group of programmers about a printer problem that's stumping them. "The programmers said they had checked network connections, the print queue, the print server configuration, all away to the power supply and paper feed," helpdesk reports. "They said the printer needs replacing. A support tech is sent to investigate. They were missing the ink cartridge."
On-the-road sales VP calls help desk: his laptop gets a "fatal exception" error every time he boots it up. "After he enters his password and the desktop is about to build, bam! -- he gets the fatal exception," helpdesk says. "We try to talk him through it, but on every reboot it's back." Once VP is back in the office, helpdesk fires up the laptop -- and sees the problem. "It's only wallpaper," says help desk. "He's infected with spyware that changed his desktop background to a picture of the blue screen of death -- with an ad for spyware removal."
Factory uses these ageing printers to print labels for cases or products. But they keep breaking down, says IT on the scene. "Parts are very expensive and hard to find," IT says. "Every time, IT manager suggests replacing the very old and worn-out printers, the plant manager always agrees and sends request up to the company general manager, who says, 'No, keep fixing them.'" And what does the GM say when he's shown that the replacement cost is less than the annual repair cost? "As long as we can keep fixing them, we will. No sense in disposing of good equipment."